time to pick up a new book

Considering the super short length of my last post, I've decided to step it up and write a bit more about my current state of transition/general upheaval.

I am (more or less) settled in at my fake parents' house in Bemus. My room is packed with all my belongings, which has led to two realizations:

1). I am very thankful to my fake parents for giving me a room that is so large.
2). Regardless of how well I thought I was doing with living simply and not getting bogged down with lots of stuff, I still need to get rid of some things. There is absolutely zero chance at fitting all my things into my car, unless I start strapping stuff to the roof. Maybe the sides too.

It's very strange not to be in the apartment anymore with Laura. I realized that my one year in the apartment is the longest amount of time I've spent in one residence for a long time - since 2005, when I was still in high school, living with my parents. Ever since then, the longest I've lived in a dorm, apartment, house (or camp) has been nine months. I feel a little misplaced and rootless right now. I have already begun focusing more on what's coming up (2 more moves in 3 months - first to Charleston, then Chicago) than what's going on here.

I haven't completely checked out of the present yet, but I can feel the undercurrents of the future pulling me in. I know that if I spend too much time thinking about this place - about my life here - about all I'm leaving behind - I would end up feeling rather uneasy and unhealthily nostalgic.

Most things in my present life have become too easy, too comfortable, too familiar. It's like reading an old, worn-in novel I've read a hundred times before, only there are slight variations thrown in each time I open it and reread it. I get a warm, comfortable feeling while reading it because there are so many parts and characters I love in this novel. I can even read between the lines and predict what's coming on the next page.

Which is part of why I need to go. I need to pick up a new book, meet some new characters, be astonished by plot twists and adventures I never even saw coming. It's strange to leave a place, a life, where things are going well and I've settled into my niche. Leaving when things are difficult hardly even requires common sense; choosing to leave when things are good takes a little bit of irrationality. You're giving up something concrete and established and navigable for a vision, a glimmer of hope, that there's something else out there in the world for you. Something you can't even begin to imagine, but you've somehow been missing that thing all along.

I get to ease into a new life, a new city, a new daily rhythm. Same old me, at least it will be at the start. Parts of me will be reshaped and remolded by my brand new world, and I think that's a good thing. Too much of the same makes things stale or bitter, and I can't stomach either.

Keep me in mind as I get through these next few months. Trading in my old, familiar novel for the newest book in this series is going to be surprisingly difficult sometimes. Remind me that the adventure's worth it in the end and that unless a person chooses to give into fear of the unknown and unfamiliar, it has no hold over them.

Here's to a fearless transition to my next adventure.