surviving winter in western new york

Over the last few days, it's become apparent that winter has officially checked in. The snow won't stop falling, my car has basically become a mobile ice box [whose windows will be frozen shut until at least April], Christmas decorations have taken over the apartment, and Jamestown had its annual Christmas Parade this weekend.

That's right. For those of you who weren't aware, Jamestown, NY has its very own Chrismas Parade. I was talked into going last year, and frankly, I was curious to see what on earth was going to be paraded through the streets of Jamestown. After a performance outside City Hall by the 10,000 Maniacs, one of the few claims-to-fame held by this small city, I was startled to hear a loud whirring noise coming from the sky above me. I glanced up, horrified as a low-flying helicopter swooped over the crowd gathered for the parade. The scene in front of me instantly turned to chaos as everyone grabbed onto their hats and anything else that could be blown away by the gale force winds sweeping through the streets in the helicopter's wake. As it flew off into the distance, we all breathed a sigh of relief and talked incredulously about what a miscalculated decision it was to have a helicopter practically divebomb the crowd. Aaand then it came back to do another flyby. Apparently the helicopter was there to add something (I'm not sure what) to the parade's atmosphere.

Merry Christmas Jamestown.

Needless to say, I didn't end up at this year's parade. I wasn't feeling the greatest [sidenote: another sign that winter is here - everyone's getting the flu], and I didn't mind having an excuse to miss standing outside in the cold for 2 hours as helicopters wreaked havoc on downtown Jamestown.

Instead I got to stay home and watch a movie. This leads to my first piece of advice on how to survive winter in western NY: have a large cache of movies onhand at all times. You never know when you're going to be snowed in or catch a flu/cold/some kind of sickness that knocks you off your feet. Holiday-themed movies are only good for another three weeks from today, so get started on them if you haven't already! There's a lot of great ones: Elf, Home Alone [1 and 2 only, 3 is pretty wretched], White Christmas, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Miracle on 34th Street, A Muppet Christmas Carol, It's a Wonderful Life, or my family's personal favorite....Chevy Chase Christmas Vacation [cause we're classy like that].

Advice #2 on how to survive winter conveniently relates to something we all do while watching movies: eating. Have large amounts of food stocked up in your kitchen. Just because humans are supposedly more civilized than other creatures and can [in theory] drive to a grocery store at any time to get more food, it's a good idea to follow the example set by squirrels and other small, hoarding animals to have piles of food stacked up in your cupboards. Not only do storms leave us stuck in our homes for days at a time, but honestly, people get lazy in the winter. Most of our social activity during the months when an arctic freeze has settled over this area revolves around excessive eating and drinking with friends. Then, in March, as we suddenly recollect that it will be warm again one day, we all start gravitating towards the gym to undo the damage we've done over the past four months.

My third piece of advice on how to survive winter directly contradicts what I just said. Join a gym! Just because it's basically expected that western New Yorkers will pile on layers of heavy clothing to hide the damage that too much eggnog [gross] and cookies have done to their bodies, it doesn't have to end that way. If you hate running...as most people admit to when they're being honest...take a class or something. Yoga, zumba, kickboxing - the Y even has something called Bootcamp. It sounds dreadfully painful, but at least it's more interesting than running.

My last piece of advice, which is probably impractical for most people - take trips down south to give yourself breaks from the Arctic Tundra that settles over the area from December through April. Conveniently, my parents live in South Carolina, in a town with the sickeningly sweet name of Summerville. [The anti-Jamestown? Possibly.] I've already made it down to Summerville once last month, and I'll be back in a couple weeks over Christmas. Stepping out of the airport down there always feels surreal, in a good sort of way. The humid, warm air and the nearly constant presence of sunlight surprises me and makes me re-evaluate the pros and cons of life as a beach bum. That thought in turn leads me to imagine how rapidly my sanity would digress if I actually did that. I'm not exactly a Southern girl, and there's this crazy stubborn streak in me that makes me stick up for New York despite its painfully long winters [and disgraceful state government...but that's a topic I really don't want to touch].

For better or for worse [mostly for better, I've gotta say], New York's home right now. After a few months of snow and ice, I may become treacherous and start dreaming of places where the sun shines and I would see colors other than white, grey, and black outside my window, but for now, I'm content peering outside at streets covered with snow as more flakes spiral quietly down from the night sky.