family matters

In less than two days, my family - parents, sister, brother, and I - will all be together for the first time in nearly a year.

I absolutely cannot wait...I'm so excited for this...but at the same moment, I involuntarily twitch a little. Maybe it's not exactly a visible twitch (aaand maybe it is, you'll never know), but there's an underlying anxiety that accompanies my excitement.

I feel like I need to start this off right by explaining I'm ridiculously stoked for this mini-reunion. Over the last few weeks, I've texted and talked with my family about what we're going to do [Priority #1: HARRY POTTER!..finally. As in, I fly into Charleston at 7 pm Wednesday and we're going to see it that night. Priority #2: Eat as much of my mom's angel food cake as I can possibly fit in my stomach.]

However, beyond the fact I'm obviously looking forward to seeing my family, it's become pretty clear to me over the years that being around family can bring out the best and the worst in me. I [and most other people, I think] rely on the idea that because our family loves us unconditionally - at least in theory - we're free to be ourselves without holding anything back.

I don't know about you, but that doesn't always end well for me. It can get messy once in awhile.

Sometimes, I take it a bit too far. I seem to think I can get away with acting like a straight-up tool, but that in the end, it's ok, because my family will always love me..right? When I'm around my family, I act more impatient, argumentative, even demanding, because I don't feel the need to earn their love as much as when I'm around other people.

The way my family knows and understands me is so different than how anybody else could, even my best friends. [There are so many classic moments that just my family was there for. Such as, when I was learning to ride my bike as a little kid, and kept running into trees because I couldn't see a flipping thing. Good times.]

I think the difference stems from how the relationships begin: family is something most people are gifted with at birth. It's a type of relationship I take for granted and assume will always endure. Friendships are something you have to pursue, earn, and invest in. You're more conscious of how you act and how you present yourselves to people how aren't obligated to like you. Also, you're aware that friendships are likely to end fast if you start acting like a tool. Act like a jerk to your friends, you run the risk of losing them. Act like a jerk to your family, and (though it obviously won't be a pretty situation) at the end of the day, you're still unalterably connected.

Sooo this Thanksgiving, I'm going to try and treat my family more like friends. [Next step: treat friends like family??..or not. At least not when it comes to acting like a tool more frequently around them.] Luckily, my brother's bringing his girlfriend to South Carolina with him so we can finally meet her! Consequently, we should all be better behaved than normal. Hopefully.

On second thought, I'm already thinking of a few FANTASTIC embarrassing stories about Little Kevin that would make for an excellent dinner conversation.....