I have this friend. Let’s call her “Anne,” just for anonymity’s sake.
Saying this summer was a rough one for Anne would be an understatement. This past year, in fact, has been pretty exhausting and frustrating for Anne. One of the most difficult and enduring obstacles throughout the year was a lack of clarity regarding where her life is going.
Everyone wants to know the direction our lives are going and what our purpose is in this vast, complex world. We do all sorts of funny things to try and figure it out. We read books. We try to interpret sloppy tea dregs at the bottom of mugs. We take online quizzes that promise to reveal our dream jobs. We scribble the pros and cons of our various options on handmade charts. We pester the people who are closest to us with “Well…you know me…what do you think I should do?”
And then we look for signs. That’s right. We look for signs to tell us what to do with our lives. I’m not just referring to religious people. Not just the superstitious or spiritualists either. Regardless of our beliefs, our faith, or our lack thereof, we all look for signs when we’ve lost our way and are desperate to learn who we are or why we’re here.
Underneath it all, I think most of us believe our destinies are caught up in something bigger than just ourselves. Regardless of what certain cantankerous philosophers have argued in the past (and present), I find it hard to accept that humans are intended to be solitary creatures who live out their miserable days, hopelessly disconnected from each other and living out a purposeless term of years. My life was and is not an isolated accident. I don’t exist simply to slog my way through a meaningless, short life until one day, my life spark is snuffed out by an accident, illness, or old age.
The truth is, we’re undeniably connected. Our lives are – for better of for worse – interwoven with all sorts of other peoples’ lives. It follows that our purpose is also not isolated; it fits into something beyond itself as well.
Which brings me back to the sign-seeking. We’d love it if some mighty higher power would take half a second of their time to reach down into our humble, mundane world and make it obnoxiously clear as to which direction we should pursue with our lives.
Hey, that’s not such a crazy idea, right? After all, the Holy Spirit settled into a bush in order to communicate with Moses, spontaneously igniting it (and probably raising Moses’ blood pressure significantly). God also struck Paul blind while he was walking down a road in order to get his attention. Very effective.
We joke about wanting a sign like that in our lives. Minus the blindness, of course. And the weird spontaneously burning vegetation, because that’s a definite fire hazard. In fact…don’t send a sign if it will inconvenience or unnerve us in any way…
Here’s the thing. Would you really want a sign if you actually got one? Would you even listen to it? Chances are, you’d sit there second-guessing if it really happened or if it was all in your head. And what if you don’t get the sign when you ask for it? Will you just use that as an excuse for further inaction and internal debate?
Let’s stop all this talk about signs for a minute. You want to know your life’s purpose? Here you go. I’ll hit the basics (take notes, if you’d like):
1. To be loved – by God and people – and love them all back. While you’re at it, try to love yourself too (not in the narcissistic, putting mirrors all over your house to stare at yourself all day kind of way. More like accepting yourself for who you are and not focusing on “fixing” unimportant things that never actually mattered). Your life’s primary purpose never, ever, ever had anything to do with a job title, certain level of income, being the best-looking, most popular, the list goes on and on. Never.
2. Every other part of your purpose flows out of #1. Look for jobs you love. Live in places you love. Find hobbies you love. I know, you’re not always going to be enamored with your circumstances. When your circumstances are making you want to tear your hair out, focus on Purpose #1, keeping your eyes and ears open for the next step to take.
It’s not like God’s sitting up there in heaven, laughing while He makes your life into an impenetrable maze. If you take a moment (or two, or three..) to reflect on who you really are and what you’re genuinely passionate about, you’ll eventually know what to do when you reach the forks in the road.
Or, you can sit on your bum waiting for the bush in your front yard to spontaneously ignite. Your call.
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